Our 13th Wedding Anniversary – Witty Marriage Quotes and Sayings

Our sweet home in idyllic Campbellsville, Kentucky

Our sweet home in idyllic Campbellsville, Kentucky

The quote that best reflects how David and I feel about each other after 13 years of marriage is:

Love is often the fruit of marriage. – Moliere

However, I heartily enjoy all the following witty and funny sayings about marriage. Marriage is just like life – multifaceted and difficult. I daresay the quotes and sayings below reflect accurately the many properties and challenging aspects of married life.

Here they are:

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. – Rita Rudner

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. – Andre Maurois

Happy is a man that finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend is his wife. – Franz Schubert

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. – James Dobson

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. – Lyndon B. Johnson

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. – Homer

It’s not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages. – Friedrich Nietzsche

To keep your marriage brimming with love in the loving cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up. – Ogden Nash

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. – Henry Youngman

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage – they’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry. – Rita Rudner

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. – Katharine Hepburn

Marriage is neither heaven nor hell, it is simply purgatory. – Abraham Lincoln

Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. – Jane Austen

If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. – Michel de Montaigne

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he is finished. – Zsa Zsa Gabor

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. – Gilbert K. Chesterton

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. – Michel de Montaigne

Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who wants to live in an institution. – Groucho Marx

Love: a temporary insanity curable by marriage. – Ambrose Bierce

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar – a practice which is still continued. – Helen Rowland

A good husband makes a good wife. – John Florio

A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers. – Eddie Cantor

Politics doesn’t make strange bedfellows; marriage does. – Groucho Marx

Sensual pleasures have the fleeting brilliance of a comet; a happy marriage has the tranquility of a lovely sunset. – Ann Landers

Marriage is an attempt to solve problems together which you didn’t even have when you were on your own. – Eddie Cantor

In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. – Rita Rudner

When women hold off from marrying men, we call it independence. When men hold off from marrying women, we call it fear of commitment. – Warren Farrell

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. – Peter De Vries

Marriage must incessantly contend with a monster that devours everything: familiarity. – Honore de Balzac

Husbands are like fires – they go out when they’re left unattended. – Cher

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the troubles. – Raymond Hull

Marriage is nature’s way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. – Alan King

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. – H. L. Mencken

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has. – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot. – Minnie Pearl

Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman. – Maryon Pearson

They say love is blind and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet. – Mae West

Why does a woman works ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married. – Barbara Streisand

Marriage is like a phone call in the night: first the ring, and then you wake up. – Evelyn Hendrickson

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets, the more he’s interested in her. – Agatha Christie

Car manufacturer’s formula for a successful marriage: Stick to one model! – Unknown

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. – Unknown

It’s a funny thing that when a man hasn’t anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. – Robert Frost

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About debrotnguyen

A smitten couple and loving parents in our mid 30s. We have lived in 3 different countries together. We dream of living in a fourth country together after our children grow up. We love long walks in the woods, climbing mountains, fishing, traveling, reading, and being together. David has an MBA and is a financial advisor with Edward Jones. He works hard to better people's lives by helping them with financial knowledge and planning. Lam is primarily a Mom and a wife, but is currently a graduate school student.
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